by Guest Blogger Laurel Nicholson

​The Death & Resurrection Doula training program for Christian end-of-life doulas has launched a community endeavor to encourage Christian conversation around death. A secular Death Positive movement opened the way for communities to embrace the conversation through a Death Cafe initiative. The Death Cafe prohibits hosts and visitors from arriving at an answer. The Fellowship Cafe provides an opportunity to connect with others in a discussion about death (and resurrection!) maintaining the freedom to declare Jesus is Lord!

The Death & Resurrection Doula Community hosts a virtual (Zoom) International Fellowship Cafe every Monday at 1-2 pm EST. Come and make friends around the world!

The International Fellowship Cafe is open to everyone! No Biblical knowledge is required to attend. The 4th week of each month includes a discussion on N.T. Wright’s book, Surprised by Hope. This is a descriptive book on the New Testament’s articulation of Heaven and what it means to live in hope while we wait. The early Christian Church lived in the hope of resurrection!

​There is an online cafe at this link:
Cafe Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85220384305?pwd=QvSm7kjia2GPG7QRtcBLqnDY4M5AhJ.1
Meeting ID: 852 2038 4305
Passcode: 683725

Are you interested in hosting a Fellowship Cafe? 

1. You can start a Fellowship Cafe at any time and any place. Simply gather a group and set a place and time to convene virtually or in person.
2. There is no cost required to start a Fellowship Cafe. It is often thought that comfort foods ease death-centered conversations. Adding coffee, tea, and something to eat is up to the group.
3. Publicity is important if you want to grow your group. The International Death & Resurrection Fellowship Cafe logo and digital materials will be provided for you if you want to use them.
4. (Optional) Grab a copy of N.T. Wright’s Surprised by Hope. Set aside some time to study the book together!
5. (Optional) Consider taking donations for community Death & Resurrection Doula training scholarships and/or funds to help community members pay for caregiving or Death & Resurrection Doula services.

The Death & Resurrection Doula Community uses Convene Communities as a hub where Real Life, Real People, and Real Experiences converge in an atmosphere of shared purpose and support. Convene Communities is an innovative online platform that goes beyond traditional social networks. If you are planning to host a Fellowship Cafe, you can create a group inside the Fellowship Cafe group in the Death & Resurrection Doula Community! Use your group to send membership announcements, share documents, take notes, create a Q/A or topic discussion boards, write blogs, and more!

Are you interested in learning more about the Death & Resurrection Doula Training Program and the International Fellowship Cafe? Create a free community membership at thedeathandresurrectiondoula.com or direct your inquiries to Laurel Nicholson at info@thedeathandresurrectiondoula.com

​Praise the Lord!

​Laurel Nicholson is a Christian End-of-life Doula Practitioner and Theologian.  Laurel began serving in ministry leadership in 2009. For much of this time, she served under the spiritual direction of the Reverend Jacob Smith at Calvary-St. George's Episcopal Church in New York City. Calvary Church (277 Park Ave. South) holds an important history in the story of Alcoholics Anonymous. In the 1930s, the Reverend Samuel Shoemaker spiritually advised Bill Wilson, and many of the steps (12 Steps) were written in the church office.  Stemming from the journey of her own recovery, Laurel has studied extensively to write reforming theology for contemporary healing prayer ministries and the Death Positive movement.  Notably, she studied Systematic and Philosophical Theology at the University of Nottingham (UK) and has a Master's Degree from General Theological Seminary in NYC. Laurel is trained as an End-of-Life (Death) Doula and has been serving individuals, families, and communities at death since 2017.  Laurel is currently on staff at Grace Episcopal Church in Keswick, VA. She is married to Ed Nicholson and has 2 kids:  Hannah (19) & Sam (17). Visit her website:  laurelnicholson.com

By guest blogger Dave Kahle
         
The recent election may have set the record for the amount of emotional reaction it has generated. As such, it presents an unusual opportunity for Christians to impact those in our spheres of influence.
The depth and breadth of the emotional response presents Christian businesspeople with a unique opportunity. This reaction to the election represents a great opportunity for Christians in the business world to impact the world.  It was Rahm Emmanual who was reported to have said, during the Obama administration, “Never let a good crises go to waste.”  That applies to Christian businesspeople as well.

First, realize that you are in a unique position. It is a world where many of the things we trusted have flittered away that trust to the call of politics:  No one trusts the media, government agencies appear to be purely political, and many universities seem to have lost their purpose.

But business has been immune to that trading of trust for political advantages.  The Edelman Trust Barometer recently released its 2023 report.  Based on interviews with 32,000 people across 28 countries, it found that people trusted business more than the media, government and NGOs.
According to author Dave Samson, “According to this year’s Trust findings, business remains the only trusted institution at 62 percent. And business is now the sole institution that respondents perceive as both ethical and competent …” In other words, in a world where we no longer trust people and institutions, we still view business, and business people, very positively.

That puts you in an advantaged position.  As a businessperson, you are more respected and viewed as more competent than your colleagues in other lines of work.  You are, therefore, in the view of most people, more influential. Not only do you have influence on those stake holders in your business – employees, vendors, customers, etc.  but you likely have greater influence on the community represented by all those people who come into contact with you and your stakeholders.

So, what do you do with the responsibility that comes with this gift of respect and trust?

Take it up a notch.  Begin with prayer, asking God to show you how and what you can do to make a greater impact in these uncertain times.

You have always been a model for the folks in your sphere of influence.  Now, with prayer and intentionality, decide to more visibly model what it means to be a Christian in uncertain times.
Demonstrate peacefulness. While peace is noticeably lacking in the secular world, the people around you can sense it in you.  We know that “all things work together for good for those who are called according to his name.” so, we relax knowing that God’s got this.  And since we are calm and peaceful, secure in our knowledge of the lordship of our God, we can concentrate on excellent businesses and careers and exhibiting love to those all around us.

The world is full of upset, fearful people who could benefit by a sense of peace.  Knowing that God is in control, and that you have a relationship with him, let Godly peace radiate from you.  Demonstrate what it means to be confident and peaceful  Share that with others.

Be a model of sonship. You are a son of the most high God, and you have a relationship with him. You can speak to him, and he to you.  You are secure and comfortable in that relationship.

Don’t hide it. In fact, do just the opposite.  Look for opportunities to express that relationship and your comfort with him. Offer to pray for and with colleagues who look like they are upset, worried or fearful.  This may be a good time to organize a regular, optional prayer time in your organization.  Consider a companywide work of service designed to meet some need in the community.

Remember Esther was told, in a moment of great potential impact: : (Esther 4:14) And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” 
​
Don’t let this opportunity pass by.

Copyright MMXXIV by Dave Kahle
All Rights Reserved

There is little in creation that is more important to God than our words. In this piece, we look at what God has to say about our words and develop some criteria to help us do better using words in the marketplace.
 
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” 
 
Do you remember that from your childhood?  It was a response from our parents when we were verbally attacked, criticized, or otherwise made to feel bad by what someone said to us.  It was probably helpful in nudging us off our hurt feelings.  However, like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, it was untrue,
 
The truth lies in the opposite direction. While words may not break our bones, they can have a huge impact on our lives.  On one hand, they can build us up and give us confidence and dedication, and on the other, they can generate feelings of inferiority, a defeated self-image and lead to depression and passivity.

Words are one of our most powerful tools for living a life of fulfillment and purpose.

The Bible is full of passages that remind of this powerful truth and encourage us to choose our words wisely.
 
For example, the Bible is God’s Word.  Not Gods feelings, not God’s actions, not God’s intentions. It is God’s word for a reason.
 
In addition, God spoke the world into existence. It was His words that formed creation.  (Genesis 1, NIV)
And, Jesus is called the Word. . . . In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was fully God. (John 1:1 NIV)
 
In case there is any confusion, Jesus makes clear how important words are to God:  36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:36-37)
 
As with so many other passages, we often relegate the idea to the realm of “church” and give ourselves a pass when it comes to our behavior in the marketplace.  But there is no exception here for people in the marketplace.  Nowhere does it say, “This applies to your life, except your business or career.  You don’t have to obey this on the job.”
Applications for Christian businesspeople 
If we are going to be serious about our Christianity in the marketplace, it’s clear that we need to think about how we use words, and then put in place some guidelines  to help us use good words well. Here are some suggestions:

• Words are both spoken and written. In our world of instantaneous electronic communication, many of us use far more words in writing via text, email and social media posts, than we speak orally. Word we choose to use in electronic communications may last for decades.

 

• Make sure that your vision, mission and values statements refer to God’s ownership of the business. Your business is not your business. It belongs to God, and you should say that, in writing, on the foundational documents.  That way, everyone who sees those documents will know where you stand. That’s a great place to use precise words that reflect the glory back to God.
• Be careful about using words that are critical. There are, of course, times when you must correct someone. But we need to be careful about the words we choose and the way we deliver them.  We all have memories of some critical words said to us that have lingered for decades. 

 
Years ago, I came across the ” sandwich” method of delivering a critique.  We teach it to people in our Sales Management course:  It means that you sandwich the critique between two layers of positive reinforcement. Start with a layer of positive comment, add your slice of critique, and then end with another layer of positive words. 
 
So, for example, you could say to a salesperson in a coaching moment after a sales call:  “John, you have a nice, easy way with people that makes them comfortable with you. That will serve you well.  (Positive words) However, when you called our competitor a ‘fool,” you exhausted any good will you had.  Never speak badly about a competitor.  It puts the customer in an awkward situation. (The heart of the critique) You learn quickly, so I’m sure you won’t do that again. (More positive words.)

•  Be slow and thoughtful about using judgmental words. In our world of social media and sound bites, it’s easy to fall into the trap of following the pack and making judgements about people and situations.  Even worse is when we do it without any good information as a basis. Every day, thousands, if not millions, of people rush to judgement expressed in social media posts.  As Christians we understand those are words for which the writer will “have to give an account on the day of judgment for every empty word.”

 

• Be slow to react and respond emotionally. Since we can immediately react, via text or email, the temptation is always to respond quickly to something with which we take offense.  All too often, those harsh and emotional words make the situation worse. Do we really want to “give an account on the day of judgement” for those words we fired off in an emotional reaction to an email?

 

• Plan to use good words to encourage someone.  Suppose you were to make a list of the people in your sphere of influence on the job and methodically deliver good words of support and encouragement to each.  And then, wait a month, and do it all over again.  What would be the impact on those people, on their respect for you and on your influence with them?

 
I am reminded of the classic business book The One-Minute Manager, which advocated walking around and finding someone doing something well and complementing him/her for it. That was the gist of the book.  And that simple, easy -to-implement advice can and has made huge differences for those who implement it.
Here's one summary rule.  Think about what we say or write before we do it. Keep in mind that we will give an account for every word.    
 
Copyright MMXXII by Dave Kahle
All rights reserved.       

by Guest Blogger Dave Kahle 

The world is filled with marketplace Christians who are content with a shallow Christian presence in their business, afraid of the consequences of a more visible, deeper approach. What if that which we would gain so far outweighs our small sense of temporary discomfort that we would look back on it down the road a bit and reflect, “I should have done that years ago.”
“I’m afraid of the price I’ll have to pay.”  That was a comment made by a friend when the conversation wandered to God and business.  Specifically, we were discussing what it meant to invite God to be a bigger part of my friend’s business.
It’s easy to understand his position.  He had achieved a level of success that brought him a comfortable lifestyle.  He was a regular churchgoer and sat on one of the boards there.  So, he was living the life that conventional wisdom recommended: Active in the institutional church system, and successful in business.
Upsetting that lifestyle by shining the light of his Christian relationship into the world of his business had never been on the table.  He was content with a superficial acknowledgment of his Christianity in the marketplace but feared any deeper engagement.   His approach was superficial and left him wondering if there wasn’t more to it than just a shallow marketplace presence. And, while he congratulated himself for his lifestyle, he admitted to a gnawing sense that there was more than that and that God wanted more from him.
He was beginning to struggle with that idea  – therefore our conversation.  I appreciated his transparency and his candor.  I suspect that the vast majority of Christian businesspeople feel the same things, but don’t have the strength of character to voice it publicly.  The world is filled with marketplace Christians who are content with a shallow Christian presence in their business, afraid of the consequences of a more visible, deeper approach.
Fear
Let’s face it.  We’re all afraid.
We’re afraid that our more visible Christianity will alienate some customers, put distance between our friends and acquaintances, and cause our bankers and vendors to look at us with a skewered eye.  We’re afraid, ultimately, that we’ll rock our comfortable world and find ourselves in the unchartered ground, well outside of the comfort zones we’ve spent a lifetime building.
It’s like we understand that a superficial approach is sort of like pruning a grapevine by just trimming off the dead bunches.  We know that might look OK for a while, but if you are going to create a bountiful harvest, you’ll need to work deeper into the plant at its base.
But what if the benefits far outweighed any discomfort that might come from stepping out and more visibly embracing Christianity in the marketplace?  What if that which we would gain so far outweighs our small sense of temporary discomfort that we would look back on it down the road a bit and reflect, “I should have done that years ago.”
I recently asked the people who are members of my Xi Community to articulate one benefit to closely aligning their business and their careers with a more visible alignment with God.
Their response?  The most common benefit?
Peace
Calm in the face of adversity.  Assurance when all around us our society and our life seem to be disintegrating.  Tranquility in the face of a scary and unsure future.  When it seems like people are screaming irrationally all around us; when the politicians are more intent on childish games of payback than meaningful discourse; when the institutions we have relied on seem full of people with narrow agendas and deceitful practices;  when the economy and our best efforts seem totally dependent on forces outside of our control; when it looks darkest, the greatest benefit is peace.
While we can all understand a personal sense of peace, these marketplace Christians are reflecting on their position in the marketplace – their careers and businesses.
Acknowledgment
​It’s the kind of marketplace peace that arises out of the visible acknowledgment that we are His, that He not only cares for us but that He owns and cares for our businesses. It is our relationship with the Creator that oozes through us, calming fears, easing anxieties, and blessing our efforts.  It’s what the disciples must have felt when, after a hard day on the job with little success in their fishing business, Jesus told them to put their nets on the other side of the boat and reap a harvest beyond anything they could wish for.
It is a peace that bubbles out of the promises:
32 “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven. (Matthew 10:32, 33)
It is peace based on the knowledge that God has our back.  That he has a plan for us that is better than what we can imagine. That He can, in an instant, multiply a handful of fish and bread to feed thousands of people.
It is a peace that believes Him when he said, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20 NIV)
The greatest benefit to more visibly embracing Christianity in the marketplace, according to those who do, is “Peace.”
If you found this article valuable, you may want to read:
Part Two: Purpose
Part Three Closer: Relationship
_____________________________________________________

As Christians, we can often feel timid about stepping into our callings for various reasons, including fear of failure, uncertainty about hearing God’s voice, feelings of inadequacy, and self-doubt. However, overcoming these barriers is essential to fulfilling God’s purpose. Here are seven steps that have helped me to receive and accept the callings God has placed in my life:

1. Seek Clarity in Prayer
Prayer is the foundational step in discerning God’s calling. Through it, we align our hearts with God’s will and open ourselves to hearing His voice. James 1:5 encourages us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Clarity comes when we earnestly seek His guidance, trusting that He will answer. Jesus modeled this in Luke 6:12, where He spent the night in prayer before choosing His disciples. Persistent prayer not only provides direction but also strengthens our trust in His perfect plan. As we learn to talk with God as our closest friend, we discover that He speaks to us as well.

2. Align with Scripture
God’s Word is the ultimate authority, and His calling will never contradict scripture. By regularly studying the Bible, we can discern whether what we feel led to do aligns with His truth. Psalm 119:105 states, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” God’s Word brings clarity and confirmation. As you meditate on verses like Jeremiah 29:11, where God promises, “For I know the plans I have for you,” you gain confidence in His direction for your life. Scripture helps you remain rooted in God’s promises, keeping you on the right path. When we witness that God is true to His word and promises, we become more confident in continuing to read and seek guidance.

3. Overcome Fear with Faith
Fear of failure or inadequacy can hinder us from pursuing God’s calling, but scripture reminds us that God equips and strengthens those He calls. In 2 Timothy 1:7, we are told, “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” Faith replaces fear when we trust in God’s strength rather than our own. When Moses doubted his ability to lead Israel, God reassured him in Exodus 4:12, saying, “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” Relying on God’s power allows us to confidently embrace our calling, knowing that it is His strength at work within us, rather than our own abilities.

4. Be Open to God’s Timing
We may feel impatient or unsure about God’s timing, but scripture teaches that waiting on the Lord brings renewed strength and clarity. Isaiah 40:31 promises, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles.” Waiting is not passive but an active trust in God’s perfect timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” While we wait, God works in us, preparing us for His purpose and aligning circumstances for His glory.

5. Surround Yourself with Godly Counsel
Proverbs 15:22 teaches, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Seeking wise counsel from godly mentors or peers helps provide perspective and confirmation as you discern your calling. God often uses others to speak into our lives, offering guidance and encouragement. In Acts 13:2, Paul and Barnabas received confirmation of their calling through prayer and fasting with others in the church. Surrounding yourself with spiritually mature believers who support you in prayer and offer godly wisdom helps to ensure you are walking in alignment with God’s will. While a calling may feel very personal, discussing it with a person you trust can aid you in processing it.

6. Take Small Steps of Faith
God often reveals His plan step by step. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Taking small, obedient steps demonstrates faith and allows God to guide us. In Matthew 25:21, Jesus praises the servant who was faithful with little, saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things.” When we act in faith with what God places before us, He expands our path and reveals more of His purpose. Taking minor steps of faith under His guidance prepares us for more significant steps when our calling materializes.

7. Trust God’s Equipping
Feelings of inadequacy often accompany God’s calling, but scripture reminds us that He equips those He calls. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called. In 1 Corinthians 1:27, we read, “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.” Trust that He will provide everything you need, as He did for Gideon, David, and countless others. When we trust in His equipping, we fulfill His purpose confidently. If you are new to experiencing a calling, seek advice from those around you about how the Lord prepared them for their callings. This can help you build confidence.

Conclusion
When we hear His voice deep within, confirming His call, the leap of faith becomes much easier. Romans 8:16 affirms, “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children,” giving us boldness to act in faith.
​
I vividly recall the early days of my Christian journey when I felt a calling to go to Florida. Although the Lord had set this calling before me, He guided me through various simple steps of obedience to prepare for that moment. One night, after work, He directed me to drive to a nearby church and park there. It seemed like an easy task, but I found myself arguing with Him, saying it was too late at night and that the neighbors might suspect I was up to no good. Reluctantly, I parked at the church and then inquired what He wanted me to do next. He replied, “Nothing, you already did what I asked you. All I want is your obedience.”
On another occasion, He instructed me to attend a different church instead of my usual one. This time, I didn’t argue but asked why He wanted me to go there. He remained silent at first, only to later reiterate, “All I want is your obedience.” Another instruction involved purchasing a desk and typewriter (back when computers weren’t widespread) for someone who felt called to write letters to local churches about participating in a March for Jesus in her town. By the time I received this request, I was eager and ready to fulfill His purpose.

Not long after, the moment arrived for me to go to Florida, and I was more than prepared. Through these simple acts of obedience, I learned to recognize His voice and understand more of His heart.
When our hearts are rooted in God’s Word and guided by Holy Spirit, fear diminishes, and trust grows, allowing us to move forward confidently in His will. Ultimately, the purpose of any calling is to lift Jesus up. If we pursue a desire or perceived calling for any reason other than that, it’s essential to pause and reassess through prayer and attentiveness to Holy Spirit.